The Almighty Dollar

I got my very first tax return when I was 16. I had made a whopping 800 dollars or so working the holiday season at Mervyn's, and had 75 cents withheld for income taxes. I was supposed to receive the 75 cents as my entire tax return, but Uncle Sam only works in whole dollars so it got rounded up to a dollar. At the time I opted to get my return via the mail, and 6-8 weeks later I got my check from the treasury for one precious greenback. I thought it was hilarious that the government spent at least 34 cents or whatever sending me a check worth a dollar (and probably spent 16 dollars or some ridiculous shit on all the manpower that went into making that check get printed, lost, put in the mail etc.), so I saved the check and put it in my wallet as my emergency cash in case I was ever stranded somewhere were visa was not accepted.

A year passed and I had forgotten about the buck, and another treasury check came in the mail. Those checks are only good for one year, and if you haven't cashed it yet you get resent your return. I never did bother cashing that one in and don't know what happened to it. Now every year I get a check and it brings joy to my heart to know that I swindled the government (meaning YOU) out of 25 cents, and that this check will probably represent the only time in my life where I receive from the good ol' us of a more than I deserve from it.

I'm kind of curious to see how long they keep sending the checks, and wonder if I will still get them when I am an old man. I know I will get a kick out of getting some shit like this when I am 80 years old and a postage stamp is 5 dollars. Or if, when I'm worm food, my progeny keeps receiving the checks. I hope they don't cash them. Sorry for wasting your money!